Thoughts

Here we are in the last days of summer. My early morning drive to work gives me a car covered in dew, a chilled morning that requires a sweater, and a beautiful multi-colored sunrise that seems to be painted by a Heavenly hand just for me. One by one the days roll by seemingly without change until suddenly, I spot a tree who's leaves have displayed their true brilliant red color. Though Indiana may have a few hot days left for us, these cool mornings have me dreaming about Fall.  Funny how it seems like yesterday that I was looking forward to summer heat, seaside vacation and pitchers of iced tea, and now it's over.

One stark change comes with the beginning of school time. I think when I married I somehow expected to return home to my young siblings the way they were. Garrett still drawing away, Gavin still making spaceships out of legos, Maisy still playing with horses and Lucy still crawling around on the floor. But they aren't little anymore. Garrett moves out in two days and starts his life in college. Gavin excels at his high school studies and is every day even more a gentleman than the last. Maisy is in the ups and downs of middle school and still smiles even though her hair shows signs of curly coming on. Lucy starts FIRST GRADE this fall (which I just can't believe!) and is learning to read and write. Oh how much can change when you aren't looking.

It's been almost a year since I left that house, a year since I married my Dearest Carl. Together, he and I have watched the corn grow outside our back window, watched our siblings grow older in our absence and worked on growing closer to God and to each other. And with every day of the monotonous work, play, cook, sleep, I've let time slip by while I anticipate or worry about tomorrow. Then of course, I come across this again:

"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~ Matt. 6:31-34

I'm currently reading a book by Ann Voskamp called One Thousand Gifts and in it, she goes through her journey of learning to "live in the moment". Not the kind of living that says "Don't worry about the consequences!" but the kind that is thankful for the dirty dishes, carpet underfoot and baby laughter in that one moment. It's been a very good reminder for me. I've discovered what I'm sure you already know, dear reader. That it's all too easy to wish the minutes, hours, days, months and years away. I worry about tomorrow a lot and in my worry, I lose the precious moments I'm in. Someday, I will look back at these slow days with Dearest Carl as "the good old days" so I ought to slow down and enjoy them before they're gone!

So, while I may daydream about new houses and making friends and starting a family, I'll also take pleasure in the morning dew drops before they turn to frost.

You are loved so stay happy!