Being Honest

While I blog fairly often and do give you glimpses into my life, I want to be honest with my readers. I want you to know what's really going on over here because one, I don't want you to be envying my "perfect life" and two, I hope that what I've learned through my struggles can encourage you in yours! So get ready for a talkative post.

First up, my recent job development. As of the beginning of May, I am no longer a freelance writer for Brit + Co. Due to a conflict of morals, it was time to part ways. I have to say that I was pretty shocked at first because it was so sudden, but ultimately I'm quite happy with it. Freelance writing is much more stressful and demanding than I thought. So while I worked at home, I didn't have the time to live outside of it. Yes, I've had a serious dent in my paycheck but I'm still writing for Homedit and I'm looking forward to what the future may hold. As of now, I'm content to have some free time for social lunches and baking and reading. I've got these cookies going in the oven today! And if anyone needs to talk over a coffee, let me know! :)

Next up, as you may have guessed by the picture, I've got little toes and little fingers on the brain. For about a year and a half now, I've been pining for a baby and the yearning seems to get worse with every pregnancy announcement I see. Sometimes my arms ache for the weight of a little body. Some days I just don't know how I can bear to see one more newborn photo session. But since last November, God has been working on me. I learned at our ladies' retreat that I needed to stop obsessing over a baby so much and focus on the work God has placed in front of me. I have a husband who needs my love and care, a family who needs all the help they can get and responsibilities to my church that I need to attend to. It's been a good exercise, but my journey doesn't stop there.

This spring, I've been attending a study at church by Joy McClain titled "Do You See Me?" Appropriate much? Ultimately throughout this study, I've learned that I've been going to people, food and entertainment for comfort and while that provides temporary respite, it doesn't provide real strength. Only God does that. Only He can give you the peace that overflows from your soul. It might sound cliche but these past two months, I've been experiencing just that. No, I haven't stopped thinking and wishing and praying for a baby. Some days my arms still ache. But I've been getting reacquainted with my God and discovering a new facet of His character. He provides the strength to smile and the opportunity to be His hands and feet for my loved ones. And I like that much better than doubting and questioning and fearing.

Well, there you have it. Now you are up to date with my life. I'd love to know if any of you are in the same place and we can pray for each other!

Thanks for listening!

(Image via A Complete Life)